Monday, June 22, 2009

Why Men Cheat - Article

Article Extracted from the Internet on Why Men Cheat:
Relationship experts dish out the #1 reason for infidelity and how to affair-proof your marriage.
Want to affair-proof your marriage? Then first, you've got to understand what makes men cheat. Hear it from the relationship experts as they dish out on the number one reason for infidelity and ways to protect your relationship.

Why men cheat, The XY species: They're notorious for their roving eyes and their obsession with bikini-clad models, so connect the dots, and the automatic assumption is that men cheat for the sex.
But here's the surprising truth: According to marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, author of The Truth About Cheating, who surveyed 200 cheating and non-cheating husbands, the number one reason for straying is emotional dissatisfaction, which an astounding 48 percent of cheating men listed as the main trigger.
Only 8 percent of men listed sexual dissatisfaction as the primary factor in their infidelity. In fact, just 12 percent of cheating husbands said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.Many of these "emotionally dissatisfied" men claim they don't feel appreciated or wanted. And Neuman believes it is this feeling of underappreciation and lack of thoughtfulness that far outweigh any other reason for infidelity.
Men need emotional intimacy, too
The truth is, acts of kindness and gestures of appreciation mean a lot to men, too, even though they are less likely to express these feelings than women. Patricia Covalt, author of What Smart Couples Know, agrees that emotional connection is key to a happy relationship. "Most long-term relationships/marriages eventually evolve to a point when friendship and/or companionship is the glue that holds them together," adds Covalt.
Which is why it's critical for couples to include intimate conversation, emotional connecting, and making "us" time for each other. Check out these ways to keep your relationship strong.
Strengthening your relationship
- Make your partner feel appreciated. It's easy for long-term couples to start taking each other for granted, and the things you loved about your partner when you first met may have faded over time. However, it's important to keep expressing that feeling of admiration for each other: Thank him when he does something nice for you, and aim to give him at least one sincere compliment everyday -- be it a physical asset ("You look delicious in this shirt!") or a personality trait. ("Thank you for being so supportive.") When you express appreciation for your partner, it reassures him your love and helps boosts his self-esteem.

- Make for more quality couple time. You need time as a couple to make sure your marriage stays strong, so set aside at least ten minutes everyday just for each other. Any activity that reconnects you and nurtures your bond counts as quality couple time -- whether it's a lazy weekend lounging around, cooking something together, a pillow talk before you go to sleep, a quiet evening at home alone with the kids at the parents' place, or even a mid-week lunch date. All these special moments together add up to reinforce your intimacy as a couple.
Another Interesting Article: Signs He's Cheating
My "2-cents" worth....
For the longest time, men & women debated about what is then called 'being unfaithful' or 'action of infidelity' or 'cheating' or or 'having affair' etc.
But what really do you think is the extend to which you would term it as any of the above mentioned? Would having a 'soul-mate' of the opposite sex and sharing time confiding in each other meant he/she is cheating or being unfaithful to their partner?? Is spending the night at the home of an opposite sex (no intimacy) meant cheating on their existing partner?? Or does it really meant, when one get involve in sexual activity with another opposite sex (other than own partner) meant he/she is totally cheating and deserved to be given a death sentence or what??
I guess all this boils down to individual's perception of what is the limit they could take, for the extent of their partner's involvement with the other person of opposite sex. And to whether that individual see which scenario of being unfaithful..
I always hear people saying, in a relationship, there should be mutual trust, understanding, giving & taking equally etc etc etc, in order for it to be successful. But what factors create a successful r/s in one, doesn't mean it works for the other.
I have come to realised that everything takes 2 person's effort to make things work (maybe too late to realised, but not exactly too late since I'm not at the stage of marriage yet). And sometimes in r/s, we will come to the situation where we have to learn to forgive and forget, cos some things are more far more important to some, instead of just breaking things up just because of mistakes another made, sometimes due to a moment of folly, perhaps??
Actually, the list will go on and on and on about what is right and what is wrong, but seriously, there is no actual right or wrong in every individual relationships. It is only up to individual, to be able to determine what is right for themselves and the relationship and what path they would choose to take, should they find out they have a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend/husband/wife...
Well, there's always this saying, "Love is Blind" which is true to a certain extent, but then again, this phrase holds no 'right' or 'wrong' cos once again, it is determined by the individual perception. No one else have the right to judge other relationships, 'cept for their own. This i truly believe it now.
Cos all of us, whatever path chosen and taken, is our own choice, whether right or wrong, we have to accept and move along.
No one can make us better persons, only WE can make a differences to how well we lead our lives... We live our own life, not in other peoples' shadow and only we, ourselves have the right to decide what we want to live our life. Of cos, we should be sensible enough to know what is right or wrong! We do no harm to others, we live our own life in peace... Anyway, whatever said here are all based on my personal opinions. I speak for myself, and no one else. This is how I define life.
How about you? What is your perspective of your life??????

4 Comments:

At 6:41 PM, June 22, 2009 , Blogger Shu Fen said...

1st time dropping by from Innit :D

the 1st article is pretty good.

but where did you get the 2nd article? The content is irrelevant to the title. Also the author misspelled "truly". ^^

Thanks for the articles!

Cheers!

Vicissitudes of Life

 
At 10:23 AM, June 23, 2009 , Blogger PeaceTaMy said...

Hi Shu Fen, thanks for taking the time to read the article. The caption 'why men cheat' really caught my attn so I decided to post and share! 2nd article was from the same source, i read that long time ago. Ya, no link, perhaps I should change ot to "Other interesting article" instead of "related article". Oh and I din realised the spelling error thou'.. Haha.. Anyway, great to know ya.. cheers~ ;)

 
At 10:53 AM, June 24, 2009 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

i kept nodding while reading. ha!

~ littlemscheeky

 
At 3:28 PM, June 24, 2009 , Blogger PeaceTaMy said...

Dear littlemscheeky - i too, was nodding my head while reading, until i thought it's gonna fall off my neck! LOLx

 

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